Flummox & Friends

10/20/2011

Tune in. Connect. Have fun!

The Flummox and Friends Tune in, Connect, Have fun curriculum is based on years of clinical practice and research(1). It's based on the foundational developmental milestones that are vital for children complete in order to be successful in maintaining fulfilling relationships with others.

Each episode focuses on one or more of the goals within the Tune in, Connect, Have fun levels. The program and associated resources for parents and educators help adults learn along side child and develop a shared understanding as well as a shared vocabulary for the dynamics in social situations.

Tune in

Social interaction starts with basic awareness of ourselves, of others, and the environment. The first set of goals relate to tuning into oneself (self-awareness), tuning into others (perspective taking and joint attention), and being able to assess what’s going on – the social context - in the moment.

• Observe your surroundings to learn what’s expected in a situation by observing others and sharing attention with others.
• Be aware of your own body, voice, and energy level relative to a group.
• Understand that every situation has expected and unexpected behaviors.
• Join in to group activities by being present with your body and your thoughts.
• Identify your own emotional state and mood. Use levels or “zones” to understand the relative states of emotions and moods.
• Recognize others’ emotions based on context: facial expressions, tone of voice, and the situation.
• Notice your body’s reactions to stress and different kinds of sensory input.
• Recognize that others have different thoughts and feelings.
• Show the other person you are listening with your eyes, your words and ideas, and your body.

Connect

Once we’ve tuned in to ourselves and other people, we can be an active agent of making meaningful connections by interacting verbally and non-verbally, predicting how people will feel and behave based on our actions (theory of mind), and sharing our unique qualities with others and appreciate other’s unique qualities.

• Recognize how our behavior affects others’ thoughts and feelings, which in turn affects how we feel.
• Recognize that it’s normal for people to like and think different things.
• Recognize how others react to unexpected behaviors.
• Ask questions to show interest in people and get information about them. Initiate and maintain conversation topics (stay on topic, ask questions, introduce a topic that you think your friend might like).
• Take turns in activities and conversation. Recognize that social interaction goes back and forth and isn’t all one-way.
• Share the short version first, then check in with your friend to see if they want to hear the long version.
• Be aware of and control your tone of voice. For example, offer suggestions instead of commands or directions.
• Notice if others don’t respond or understand and adjust your communication.
• Connect your ideas to the group’s ideas.
• Make inferences about what someone means based on context.
• Reach out to a friend to share feelings and experiences.
• Tell a story about a difficult event to help make sense of what happened and reflect on past and future experiences.

Have fun

Having fun and engaging with others is critical to social and emotional development. Once we are able to tune in and connect, we have the opportunity to deepen our relationships with others through conversation and play. During play, many opportunities arise for children to practice problem solving, conflict resolution and to play out a variety of emotional experiences. The Have Fun goals relate to the skills we use as we learn to navigate the fun, complex and often challenging world of play.

• Distinguish between a big problem and a little problem.
• Stay flexible; accept and expect change. Adapt and be able to come up with a “plan B.”
• Share the agenda, compromise and take turns with ideas and leading.
• Recognize things don’t have to be perfect.
• Think about tradeoffs and accept compromise, for example: “What’s more important: to be right or to have friends?”
• Accept losing gracefully. Be a good sport.
• Filter your thoughts. Recognize when to keep some kinds of thoughts in your head.
• Recognize when it’s time to take a break. Identify what things you can do to make your body feel calm.
• Regulate and adjust your energy level to the group.
• Use self-talk to stay calm and stay positive.
• Recognize that sometimes it’s best to ignore a situation or remove one’s self
• Come up with multiple causes for why something might have happened.
• Identify the “big picture” or “big ideas” in a situation (rather than focusing on less-relevant detail).
• Identify an internal standard of behavior: “That’s okay for him, but that doesn’t work for me.”
• Articulate when a relationship makes you feel good about yourself or if it makes your feel uncomfortable and why.

1. Greenspan S.I. & Wieder (1998). The Child with Special Needs. Encouraging intellectual and emotional growth. Reading, MA: Perseus Publishing.

Wetherby, A.M., & Prizant, B. M. (1995). Facilitating language and communication in autism: Assessment and intervention guidelines. In D. Berkell (ed.), Autism: Identification, education, and treatment (pp. 107?133). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Gernsbacher M.A., (2006). Toward a behavior of reciprocity. Journal of Developmental Processes, 1, 139?152.

Fogel, A. (1993). Developing through Relationships. U of Chicago Press.